Collected Works of Jeffrey Archer in One Big Ass Book

Kane and Abel; The Prodigal Daughter; Not a Penny More, Not a Penny Less; and A Quiver Full of Arrows, collected works of Jeffrey Archer, 1987, Doubleday & Co. Genre: Fiction (A Quiver Full of Arrows is collected short fiction). 923 flipping pages. Finished 8/11/2010.

Note from the LesBlog Editorial Board: The LesBlog Editorial Board apologizes for the delay in reviews of late. For not only is this the Longest Book Ever Written, but our main reviewer was busy Falling in Love during the reading of the Longest Book Ever Written. Needless to say, we've had more important things on our mind.

LesOpinion: This unwieldy collection of Jeffrey Archer's early works is a misguided attempt to collect the author's freshman oeuvres into a giant tome with print so small it takes a magnifying glass to read it in the hope that it would make it seem like the quality of Literature that simply cries out to be anthologized for posterity. Don't shit a shitter, Mr. Publisher, Mr. Archer may tell a good story, but it's the same story over and over: the tale of rich people, high falutin' educations, and games of financial one upsmanship, all of it begging the question, "how often can one beat a dead horse and still be thought original?"

The Fixer Upper

The Fixer Upper, Mary Kay Andrews, 2009 Harper Collins. Genre: Chick Lit. 419 pages. Finished 7/7/2010.

LesOpinion: Chick lit, that's Mary Kay Andrews's specialty. Like Savannah Breeze, this latest novel is just a pleasant way to spend a summer day. In fact, this is a novel so small you'll forget it within hours of reading it.

Special Note to Mary Kay Andrews Regarding the use of Gay People to Spice Up Your Plot: Think you can jazz up an otherwise formulaic novel with a lesbian subplot that ultimately fizzles out and just makes lesbians look pathetic and lonely in comparison with straight people, whose lives are more complete and real? Yeah, well, don't.